I look better un-naked...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
porn star boner night. come get it.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
