so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Randomize
