you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
