just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
