I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
i've created a new STD.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
