I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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