He is like the real live version of the state fair..
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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