i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
