none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My vagina is very pro this idea
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
