I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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