So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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