I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
