he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
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Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
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lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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