wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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