We're facebook friends in real life
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Randomize
