every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
