Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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