sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize