that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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