Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
