dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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