For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
