I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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