If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
