Can i not drive my cunt home
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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