I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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