WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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