So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
