And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
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