This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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