Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
