you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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