how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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