I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
