How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize