Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
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how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
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I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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