he wants to bone in the snuggie
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
