How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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