Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
