my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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