some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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