i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
