dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize