her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
