man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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