You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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