Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
