Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
