hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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