You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
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