you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
