You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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