So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
