i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
