Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
