Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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