Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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