If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
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I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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