that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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