I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
