god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
it's like iHOP with fire
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
