i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
no. you can't hotbox the world.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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