There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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