ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
