He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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